There is this place we do go hang out at every Friday or Sunday evening before Chisim came. We usually go there for roasted/grilled croaker fish. And while waiting for the fish to get ready, we would sit down and help ourselves with asun(yrouba goat pepper meat) or whatever else.
We do no like sitting there for long because the place reeks of cigarettes and what have you stench.
It got to a point I would wait in the car because I didn’t want my baby inhaling the puffed smoke which I heard is more dangerous.
After a while we stopped going out kpatakpata.
I gave birth to my daughter and we even forgot about hanging out entirely.
Not long a while, Osinachi came running after.
The responsibility doubled almost immediately.
This is what parenthood does to you. Everything changes completely. Everything.
When you get married and have children, your lifestyle changes and many of your common activities changes.
You cut back if not discontinue most of your social activities. You stop dining and drinking with friends and stop going out for social events on weekends.
If you must go, you will practically plan yourself very well and make sure your child would be very comfortable all through.
The child becomes the primary focus and subject if not most focus of the whole conversation.
Bringing a child into this world has consequences that can go on for as far as eighty years and beyond even down to the the lines of your grand and great grand children .
Becoming a parent is one of the most important thing that you will ever do in life. Read that again. Let it assimilate.
When you realise that everything you do or fail to do in their formative years will have a lasting impact for generations to come, you will be far more thoughtful in the way and manner you speak, move etc.
As an adult, you are still affected by the things your grandparents didn’t do or did for you parents. The way you treat your children is strongly influenced by the way your parents treated you. Ighotogo?
It has consequences.
As a child, I was naughty and too stubborn. My dad was always flogging me. My mum sometimes didn’t give me food because I refused to do what she had asked me to do. I grew up not liking food because there were several days I didn’t eat because of punishment.
I would do whatever I wanted and daddy would flog me. I wasn’t afraid of flogging no more. I did the hell what I wanted to do. But I got to find out that words reach to me more than all those flogging and shouting. I could literally break down when you talk to me.
I’ve observed this same pattern in my daughter. When I shout and shout. She ignores me. I am repeating what I picked up from my parents as a child-that shouting is what makes children obedient. That isn’t true and I am learning to do away with it.
The day you got pregnant and decided to birth that baby, you have taken a minimum yearly commitment to do everything possible to raise your child a happy, healthy and self confident being.
Every word, action, unspoken words, behaviour are shaping and influencing that child and determining how he or she will turn out as an adult.
You sacrifice a lot. You stop doing certain things, like arguing in front of them. Sometimes in months you don’t know what social life is like…and in years you haven’t changed your wardrobe.
Becoming a parent is beautiful experience but its no joke. It’s not something you would want to rush into.
If you are not ready to shoulder the responsibility that comes with it, stay off SEX. Or rather unprotected sex.
And that is why I ask younger people to take their time..newly couples to take their time. And every other single person.
If you are the type that like long uninterrupted sleep at night, you should think twice about having babies.
If you are the type that likes pepper in your food…checkie onwe gi first.
If you are the type that loves partying and clubbing, you shouldn’t think of having children. Abi you go carry them go club?
And if you are the type that loves attention, get ready to drag it with your baby.
And please learn some cartoon channels and shows, it may be replacing your Zeeworld and channels TV and African magic. Okwa ka udo we chia Oo!
Because obidohana, obidogokwa. No nkwusi until death ekewa unu!
Good morning fam..