So some weekends ago, we took a trip to the village. My brother in law was getting hooked we went to Mbano to go and marry our wife. 💃💃
In Mbano, when you want to marry their daughter, they don’t do the list together, they separate men and women list. While men went to negotiate theirs, women went to another corner to negotiate theirs.
Meanwhile, I was outside waiting for the talk to be over, so I can bring out my dancing shoes. I even went with flask for food. Wetin concern me concern tradition. 🙄🤷♀ we were there for the fun things.
Then my aunty called me and said, ‘don’t you know you are suppose to be with your mother in law and know how things are done. Don’t you know your son is next and your daughter’.
I felt small heart attack. That’s one day, chisim will come and bring one man and ask permission for legal gbenshing and say na marry she wan marry..I am not ready for such thoughts biko. 😩😩
So I went and joined them and was observing. They were negotiating and after about thirty minutes, they still(the umuada of mbano) kwechiri and refused to remove one naira from the money, because we decided to do in cash as omena cash anyi bu😎😎 Even after all the begging and pleading, they ju juwaa isi🙄😐🤨.
My mother in law now said, I don’t even know what my children saw in Imo state people. All of them running to Imo.🤣🤣
I and everyone else laughed so hard.
Mummy, we dey move with touch and follow😁😁
But that’s not the gist I bring you this morning.
Social media and reality are two different things with respect to bride price and co. Omenala bukwanu omenala. Saying your husband wont pay a dime on your head is not realistic, at least for now and in years to come. What I saw however, was the parents of the bride asking the umunna to be fair and considerate in their demands.
Yes, your parents may not accept the bride price, but the traditional rites which is called ime ego will most certainly be done and there is nothing you can do about it, because its not even decided by your parents.
While some people’s list are clearly outrageous and exploitative and no, I am not referring to them,(that’s when your would be in law steps in and negotiates on your behalf, unless they are all greedy), some things are better left on social media if you want to marry traditionally.
If you wish to be married traditionally, please when you get to your village gate, drop all the I am not for sale attitude. Infact you won’t even be allowed anywhere near the negotiating room.
I understand we all want to be feminists, but somethings are tradition and we have to respect it.
Ehen, that said..please refer to me as elder zubby 😋😙, its not an easy something to negotiate ego isi nwaanyi. Aburozi m most of una mate😋😎
Sorry we went away for so long, but we are back and better and going no where.😎😎
Hope you enjoyed reading me.✌✌
All highlighted words were written in igbo.